Pride...

So it may be one of the seven deadly sins, and I really don't want to brag, but I am nearly done with both my Christmas shopping AND with getting all my Christmas cards sent out. BAM! Those who know me might ask, "Already? It's only December 8!" Oh yeah, I know. I'm just that good this year. I'm on the ball, turning over a new leaf, as it were. :) No, but seriously, I am trying to do some good things for people who mean a lot to me in my life. And it starts with a Christmas card and/or present. Where will it go from there? Only time will tell. But one thing is certain: it isn't going to stop.

"Dead Week"

Another thing I don't usually do is post twice in the same day, but I don't really think I can count the previous post as a real post.

Dead week is one of those things that I never ran into while in undergrad. When I was at Luther, the only prep time we had for finals was a "reading day." During that day, we were supposed to dedicate all of our time to studying. The apparent idea behind dead week is the same. You're supposed to be preparing yourself for the onslaught that is known as finals week. There aren't supposed to be any tests, homework, papers due, etc. Yeah. Something like that.

I, myself, have two finals this week, one by choice, and the other is the lab portion of my microbiology course. The choice one is Case Study. I could either take the final Thursday or next week during its regularly scheduled time. I am pretty sure I'm going to choose Thursday. Why? Simply because I don't want to have to worry about studying for it next week when all of Satan's demons are allowed to roam the halls of the vet med building at Iowa State, chanting in students' ears, "AHAHAHAHA, there's NO WAY you're going to remember all the stuff you're going to be tested over!"

To that I retort, "BS." With one less final to worry about next week, and a final each day Monday through Thursday, I AM going to remember all the stuff I have to, by gum. I'll get it done. Life will go on as it always has. AFTER my tests are all done, that is. Hopefully the world won't have moved TOO far in the meantime. But I'll catch up. I just bought some new running shoes, after all.

101 in 1001

Ok. So I'm not one for buying into trends. But I heard a really good idea from a pretty good friend of mine and I decided to steal it. It's 101 goals that I have to complete in the next 1001 days, roughly 2 3/4 years. They're supposed to be pretty specific, that way I know when I complete them. So far I'm doing pretty well. I don't mean to be selfish, but there are a number about myself. But I also tried to include a bunch of things done for others as well. I am also happy to report that I am doing a pretty good job of progressing on #75. Go ahead. Have a look at it. You know you want to! :)

1. Visit Europe. Even if it's only for a week.

2. Go to a nursing home and talk to a WWII vet. Thank him.

3. Thank an Afghanistan vet for their service.

4. Find Anthony's grave.

5. Write a letter to Mrs. Cox expressing my gratitude.

6. Help a stranger on the roadside.

7. Volunteer in a construction project. (HH, etc.)

8. Randomly picnic at a park with someone I care about.

9. Make an entire meal from scratch. (it must be edible and delicious!)

10. Test drive a car I can't afford.

11. Eat at a Chinese restaurant I've never eaten at before.

12. Run a triathlon.

13. Spend an entire day in bed and not regret it.

14. Go to a zoo.

15. Go to Hannibal, MO and take the long tour of Mark Twain Cave.

16. Have a weekend of wine tasting with someone I care about.

17. Gamble in a casino and actually come out ahead when I leave.

18. Go a week without biting my nails.

19. Rock the show at RJ's wedding.

20. Write letters of thanks to five people who have made a difference in my life. (0/5)

21. Find a way to thank K&K for being awesome friends.

22. Get my DVM.

23. Reconnect with high school friends.

24. Take a trip without knowing where I'm going.

25. Go to 5 concerts. (0/5)

26. Get a tattoo honoring my dad.

27. Think about "My Wish" not only in terms of myself, but what it could mean applied to other people.

28. Meet a celebrity. (not a bubblegum, but someone who makes a difference)

29. See Brett Favre play just one game.

30. See another game at Lambeau Field.

31. Learn how to play bridge AND euchre.

32. Go to the state fair, spend the whole day there, and take my time.

33. Change all of the lightbulbs in my house to compact flourescents.

34. Slow dance in an empty room with no music.

35. Paint my trailer!

36. Clean my shower on a weekly basis.

37. Buy a new/bigger bed.

38. Pick a person randomly from the phonebook and call them to tell them how wonderful they are. (writing a letter would also fulfill this)

39. Own an argyle sweater/vest.

40. Play an epic game of the dot game.

41. Visit my Uncle Steve.

42. See Casting Crowns at their home church in Atlanta, GA.

43. Go squirrel hunting with my brother.

44. Spend a whole day with my sister, just hanging out.

45. Go to a Memphis Redbirds game with Jon.

46. Buy my mom flowers.

47. Climb a mountain. Any mountain.

48. Drive a car 100mph.

49. Learn to play guitar.

50. Sing a song from Beatles Rock Band in front of someone I think might care about my pitch, but have fun anyway.

51. Score more than 10,000 points in Farkle.

52. Read all of the Joseph Ellis books I own. (0/4)

53. Ride all 14 days of the next two RAGBRAIs.

54. Volunteer in a children's hospital.

55. Go tubing down the Upper Iowa River.

56. Go hiking at Malanaphy Springs. :)

57. Have lunch with Drs. T & D and thank them for being there for me.

58. Dognap Belle for a few days.

59. Take Duke for a long walk.

60. See a play in NYC.

61. Go to a big museum, and take at least two days to get through it all.

62. Read all the Harry Potter books. (0/7)

63. Watch "Pride and Prejudice"

64. Donate the clothes I don't wear anymore to charity.

65. Send out Christmas cards to my friends.

66. Host a BBQ for the Fourth of July.

67. Go to an Iowa bowl game. And tailgate. :)

68. Save more money for the R fund.

69. Stretch at least twice a day, every day, for a week.

70. Walk in the rain. Without being in a hurry, or using an umbrella.

71. Clean my car thoroughly.

72. Write a sincere letter of apology to someone I have hurt.

73. Clean out my refrigerator.

74. Take the cans back and donate the money to charity.

75. Drop at least 50 cents into every Salvation Army bucket I see over the holidays.

76. Replace the leaky windows in my trailer.

77. Plant new flowers in my flower bed.

78. Do not have an ER-requiring accident in the next 1001 days.

79. Spend a day hanging out with my aunt.

80. Pay off my credit card and keep the balance <$300.

81. Go for a sleigh ride. Horse-drawn, of course.

82. Go skiing.

83. Read all of my CS Lewis books. (0/4)

84. Be able to swim 1000 meters without stopping.

85. Eat at the Canteen and take someone who has never been there before.

86. Go camping.

87. Drive to Luther for Homecoming.

88. Go to C@L one more time.

89. Shovel the snow out of someone else's driveway/sidewalk.

90. Vacation on a beach with someone special.

91. Visit MoMA.

92. Help my mom when she moves.

93. Steam clean my carpet and couches.

94. Watch a terrible movie at the theater on purpose and laugh about how awful it was later.

95. Research options for internships/residencies.

96. Along that line, get some good letters of recommendation.

97. Allow A. to teach me how to shop on Black Friday.

98. Win a stuffed animal from one of those dumb crane machines.

99. Start a fund with all of my loose change. Do something worthwhile with it.

100. Donate $5 to charity for each item left undone.

101. Make a new list!

In need of some serenity.

God grant me the courage to change the things I can,

The serenity to accept the things I can't,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I'm not really sure where that comes from, but if I could only follow those words of advice, I'd probably be sitting a lot prettier than I am right now. Particularly the last two. I'm usually pretty good at changing things I can, at least sometimes I guess. Ok, so maybe I need to improve that, too, but what fun would life be if I didn't have anything to improve upon?

I'm the type of person who loves to be able to fix things. I guess that might be why I'm thinking about being a surgeon. Kinda fits my personality. That's me. There's a problem, I make a plan, I fix it. Bam. That easy. That's how it SHOULD be, anyway. But things really don't work out like that in the real world (except for in surgery, which is why that would be such a rewarding profession). The real world is messy. Things happen, mistakes are made (sometimes very big ones). We can't always fix our problems with a simple one, two, three plan. A big ingredient is just time. And I think that is the most frustrating thing for me. I can, on occasion, be a very impatient person. I just don't like waiting for things. I feel like there should be an obvious solution to everything that presents itself as a problem. Serenity. God PLEASE grant me some serenity. I need it worse than Ol' Yeller needed a rabies vaccination.

Kind of along the same lines is the courage thing. I struggle a lot with knowing the difference between things that I can change and things that I can't. Sometimes it's a fine line, and it's just really hard to tell. I think I've been in both situations before. On one hand, I have been in a situation (recently) where I was pretty damn sure I could fix things, if only given a chance. Later I found out I was pretty wrong, but at the time (and for a while) I was absolutely POSITIVE that I could make things right. On the other side of the coin are situations where I think I can't do anything to help and come to find out later that, oh yeah, I could have and probably should have done something. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE?? Courage. God grant me the courage to know the difference.

That's life. We live. We learn. We make it better for the next people that life throws us into contact with. I am the person I am today because of all the people I have met before, all the situations I have encountered, and the ways I have dealt with them. The saying is "for better or for worse," but I believe that I am a better person than I was yesterday and the day, month, and year before. I am a better person.

Random thoughts

fear.

the very mention of the word makes me a little uncomfortable. what is it about fear that makes most of us instantly wish it to disappear? like a spot on a 17th century cartographer's map. fear makes me apprehensive and doubtful about a lot of things, but mostly myself. i don't like fear. it kinda turns me into a bed-wetting, bawling-like-a-baby schoolchild again. ok, so maybe not quite that extreme all the time, but it paints a pretty good picture.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

a man once said that. a man who had to deal with all kinds of fear throughout his life. did you know FDR almost died from polio? yeah, you're a pretty smart cookie, so i know you knew that. but it just shows how, once things are put into perspective, some of them just don't conjure up that fear like they used to.

i'm not quite sure how the 32nd president of these united states learned to deal with fear. fear of all kinds. i'm scared of a lot of things. some of them pretty pointless, like whether or not the diet coke i ordered at dinner will end up all over my lap. others, like making it through vet school in one piece (among countless other things), seem pretty large and in charge, if you catch my drift. why am i afraid? it could be that i really fear failure. i don't like the idea of not being able to succeed, especially if it is something that i really tried hard at. even worse is failing at something that i didn't put 100% effort into. i know pretty well that that sucks. and it hurts. a lot. fear of failure. fear of failure without trying.

in my "enlightened" state, i think that rather than being uncomfortable and "fearing fear," as it were, maybe we should embrace it. the new star trek movie (though i don't like to make a habit of quoting trekkies) puts a pretty good spin on it. i don't know the exact lines, but the general idea is that fear is normal. where we differ as individuals is our reaction in the face of fear. fear is normal. fear is normal. say THAT to yourself 10 times. mind-blowing, huh? it's something that i tend not to think about most days, but it is so true. our reactions to fear shape us as individuals. rather than allowing it to cripple us, we should dig deeper inside ourselves, and find out what we are really made of. i'm made of some pretty good stuff, myself, and i am only recently finding that out.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

that quote is somewhat of a mis-statement. rather, FDR should have said, "we can, and should, fear lots of things." our fear of those things is what allows us to deal confidently and effectively with them. so go. embrace your fears. confront them. and be a better person for it. i know i will be.

Mucho tiempo

So...it's been a very long time since I posted anything. Yes, I am still in vet school. At least so far. This semester is super tough, challenging me by far the most of any semester yet. Hopefully I can make it through. Only a few more weeks to go, then it's home free for the every-helpful Christmas break.

I've decided to make a little bit of a change in the way I blog here. Instead of being a purely professional/educational type of outlet, I am going to extend it a little more in the personal range. Yes, there will still be the veterinary type posts, but there will also be some other bits about my life sprinkled in as well. Hopefully this doesn't scare anybody off, not that I think anybody reads this anyway :)

This week I again shadowed with Dr. Nestor and Dr. Reimer. I got to follow a couple of cases from presentation into the OR. Pretty awesome. I even got to assist in some limited ways, placing a screw here, a suture there. Sweet stuff!

Today is Thanksgiving. Well, duh. Probably the most obvious thing I've said in a while. Didn't start off too well, though as early this morning my brother came back to my mom's house with a wee case of the "self-inflicted" type of illness, if you catch my drift. But it's Thanksgiving, so I instantly forgave him, right? Not quite. I was mad for a little while, at least. Went over to my aunt's for the big dinner of the day, and boy was it ever a doozy. I'm pretty sure I won't have to eat anything else for a week! As I write this, I am cozied up in a LA-Z-BOY watching some football while sipping some hot chocolate. Not a bad way to spend a holiday. :)

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, hoping you are content,

Matt

New Semester

So, it's been a while since my last post, and in the meantime a new semester has started. A couple of my classes are just continuations of ones from last semester, like Histology/Physiology and Anatomy. Anatomy this semester focuses on large animals, and I just had my first exam yesterday. I think it went pretty well; the laboratory part was much easier for me than the lecture portion, as usual. The Histology test is coming up this next week on Thursday, preceded by an Immunology exam. Suffice to say, it's going to be a pretty tough week. Hopefully I will make it through alive (figuratively speaking, of course).

More shadowing

Just a few more days of freedom. Winter break has flown by pretty quickly, as I suspected it probably would. Wednesday I was able to follow Dr. Brent Reimer, DVM, DACVS, as he went through his day as a surgeon. We saw a few clients, made some phone calls, and started in on the surgeries. The first one was an older golden retreiver with a degernative disease of the cruciate ligament. After lunch we came back and made it through the other three surgeries for the day. The next one was a scope surgery, then a mass removal, and the last one was a bilateral ear canal removal. Pretty cool stuff, if you are in to those types of things like I am.

Yesterday (Thursday) I followed Dr. Nestor again. I finally got to see him do some endoscopic procedures, trying to figure out what was wrong with a couple of dogs. There were also a few ultrasounds, client consults, and patient rechecks. I am hoping to get back down to the clinic to shadow some more, possibly over Spring Break. That would be sometime in March.

Well, Christmas Break is almost over. I start classes again on Monday, just a couple of days from now. Before that, though, I have a couple of shifts to work over at Best Buy. Tomorrow (Saturday) I work 6 hours and Sunday I believe it's eight. Not overworking, but I probably need some sleep in order to function well.

1/8

One semester down and seven to go. That doesn't sound very exciting. Maybe I should look at it as nearly 150 days completed. Sounds a bit better, I think. Finished out the semester pretty well, too. Finals weren't too terribly taxing, and I even ended up with a GPA between 3.0 and 4.0. Not bad for my "adjustment" semester. I anticipate performing even better in the semesters that follow. Other than a forgotten class survey (I'm sorry Dr. Booth) I didn't run into any problems.

Break has been nearly as hectic as the semester was. Best Buy upped my hours for the holiday season, which put me very close to 40 hours a week over that time. I faired well, though, and I have come through the other side nearly unscathed. I haven't been lazy in my off time; actually, on Monday of this week I went and shadowed Dr. Derek Nestor, DVM, DACVIM at the Animal Emergency and Referral Clinic down in Des Moines. All those letters just mean that Derek is a veterinarian who specializes in internal medicine. I also shadowed him over Thanksgiving break. I was actually able to observe/assist in a limited capacity on numerous ultrasounds, echocardiograms, chemotherapy treatments, client interactions, and examinations. It really was quite an experience.

Tomorrow (or I guess it is today, really) I will be shadowing Dr. Brent Reimer, who is the small animal surgeon who also practices at the clinic. I should be able to scrub in on 4 or 5 surgeries. Hopefully I'll get to see a TPLO, which is essentially an ACL repair technique. Anyway, hopefully more tomorrow after I get down with the shadowing.